Halloween Happenings

I can't believe that it's been over a month since I posted something on my blog! I would say that I'm disappointed, but just because I haven't been writing don't think that I've been stagnant. I've been very busy with another one of my renaissance loves - baking and treat making!

I had a very prosperous Halloween season with my Chocolate Pretzel Lollipops. They were a big hit with both kids and adults! And in case you missed out, I will definitely be making them again for the Christmas Season - maybe even for Thanksgiving if I can find some designs I like, but so far I haven't seen anything fantastic. Anyway, here are some pics of the lollys I made. As of right now, I am in the midst of a cupcake brainstorming and baking frenzy. More pics to come!!

Positively Delusional??

Is looking on the bright side of things really bringing our society down? I just read an article on Newsweek.com which seems to say exactly that. The article, 'Positively Downbeat: Sometimes Happiness Isn't Everything' by Julia Baird, suggests that while rhetoric on the power of positive thinking has been on the rise in recent years, the number of Americans who are actually happy has declined. Apparently there have been studies which show that Europeans are getting happier, while Americans aren't.

Within her article, Ms. Baird quotes a new book by Barbara Ehrenreich called "Bright Sided: How Relentless Promotion of Positive Thinking Has Undermined America". The book states that positive thinking equates to "mass delusion" and says that through positive thinking we are training ourselves to "overlook problems and blame ourselves for failures" and has "blinded us to inequality, incompetence and stupidity".

Instead of attributing all these things to the movement of positive thinking, why not look at the American culture for answers. Let's take a look at our society. Inequality has been a longstanding cornerstone of our democracy so it's no wonder it permeates our lives on so many levels, be it sexism, racism, ageism, classism, or xenophobia, Besides that we place so much emphasis on financial standings and material goods, on aesthetics and luxury items. Our country has been embroiled in difficult economic times over the past few years, and this casts a reflection on people's sense of well-being. We live in a climate where fear is propagated at every turn through the media. It seems that when you turn on the television, you either get a good dose of nonsense, or get shaken up by the latest horrific news story. People are electing to have plastic surgery more than ever (well at least before the recession hit). Obesity for both children and adults has been on the rise. Less people are getting married, and there are less lasting marriages than in the past. And while that is not a problem in and of itself, when you live in a society that has always promoted a married lifetyle, surely there are many unmarried people who are judging themselves based on their lack of a spouse. There is so much more to be said on what society deems to be important at the moment, or which values "the powers that be" decide to hold over our heads as the proper standard.

Could these be reasons for the lack of happy Americans? Maybe if we didn't put so much credence in things that don't determine true happiness, we would be able to focus on the things that will bring true happiness into our lives. Positive thinking does not mean that you should delude yourself into thinking that everything is great. It means looking at your circumstances, realizing what changes need to be made, and moving forward with the knowledge that you can overcome your problems. In a society that preys upon the negative thoughts and feelings of its citizens, positive thinking about ourselves and our life situations is a necessary lifeline. Instead of ridding ourselves of positivity, maybe that is exactly what we need right now, more than ever.

Shake Off That Cloud

I have been on a self-imposed blogging hiatus recently...in other words, I've had writer's block and a lot of stress, lol. Over the past 3 weeks I've had a multitude of events take place in my personal life that had me feeling down in the doldrums. (No it's nothing juicy people). I felt a cloud of negativity over me, was constantly feeling stressed out, and found myself getting angry and frustrated over other small things that came up along the way. I had allowed the course of events to push me off my axis, and away from the positive space I had found within. A lot of times when one thing is going wrong for me, it seems as if everything is going wrong, and I tend to take on a fatalistic mentality. Although in this case, everything that could wrong, really was going wrong. Lol.

Thankfully somewhere during that time I met a nice Indian gentleman and had a wonderful conversation about spirituality. He recommended a few books to me and invited me to his home to meet his guru. The whole incident really struck me because he happened to be the grandfather of one of my patients, and I often try to keep things on an impersonal level. But I felt as if he could see into my soul somehow, and so the conversation opened up and immediately traveled into the spiritual realm. I could feel his wisdom and tranquility, and felt the deep caring and generosity of his spirit. I believe that there is no such thing as simple coincidence, and as we spoke I knew that our discussion would have an impact on my life in some way.

I was perusing my local bookstore a few weeks later, and as I stood to leave, one of the books he mentioned was there staring me in the face and I had to buy it. The book is called "The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari" by Robin Sharma. I felt as if I was destined to read the book, and as I turned it's pages I realized that it was exactly what I needed in that moment. It is written as a fable and tells the story is of a high profile lawyer who has a heart attack and gives up everything in search of enlightenment. After living amongst a group of sages in the Himalayas, he comes back to America to share the wisdom that was passed along to him with a close colleague. The "monk" passes along many lessons he learned with the sages, and suggests practices you can incorporate into your life to become more centered. It echoed the words of some books I have read in the past, and helped to renew my spirit. I ended up with a fresh perspective on my current situation. One quote in particular was very timely - "Thoughts are bundles of energy and the quality of your thoughts determines the quality of your life." Very simple, but apparently I had left my common sense behind. I recommend this book to anyone who has just begun their journey or someone who may have gone off a bit off course.

Even though the universe may throw negative circumstances our way, the way in which we handle the events can make a big difference in the way we experience those situations. If we look at things as if there is nothing we can do to change the conditions in our lives, we end up feeling helpless sometimes. I believe in fate and destiny, but my belief is that fate is interactive. I feel that within our fate is a series of forked roads and how our lives unfold depends on which course of action we take in dealing with a particular problem. There is always choice. Just like a "Choose Your Own Adventure Book", it is up to each individual to select their path. And we can choose to deal with unfortunate situations in a happy way or in an upset and depressed way. I would definitely say that the former option feels much better. I have come across poor, homeless, and sick, cancer ridden individuals who walk around with a pleasant and hopeful disposition. So I too should be able to carry my burdens with a smile on my face. And while it may seem that there is nothing to smile about, simply being alive is enough, isn't it. Maybe those people who are riding out the bad times with a smile, have found fortune in their misfortune. By this I mean, maybe they have found the lesson in the midst of what they are going through, maybe they have found joy in the other things that are going right for them. Maybe just to be alive, and to breathe and to bring the best of themselves to every day is enough. We cannot let fate rule us; we rule our fate. And how we handle what the universe gives us can further determine what will come our way. "The only limits on your life are those that you set yourself" -The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari

Catalyst for Change

Today I was talking to a coworker about her daughter going off to college for her freshman year. She was a shy girl and didn't know anyone at her school so her mom was worried about her. That made me think back to when I first went off to school. In high school I had been shy and introverted, always known as the nice, quiet bookworm. Those who knew me well were aware that I could be loud and opinionated at times. I was so happy when it was time to go off to college, because the people there didn't know anything about me and I could overcome the labels I had been given. I could reinvent myself.

We don't have to wait for these types of situations to arise in order to make a change in ourselves. We can reinvent ourselves every day! There are things that we may recognize within ourselves, that we don't really like and would like to change. Oftentimes we get used to acting and reacting the way we always have. We get stuck in a comfort zone. But if we are able to look at ourselves and realize that a change needs to be made, why not go one step further and try to put that change into action - make it real. If there is something you've always wanted to do, go out and do it! If there is a talent you've always wanted to explore, go for it! If there is a habit you need to break, go cold turkey, or make gradual steps to rid yourself of the behavior. If there is a real you living inside that you've been afraid to show, then feel free to let that other side of you creep out into your daily life! It is such a freeing feeling to reinvent yourself. It brings inspiration, motivation, and gives new life to every thing you do.

Sometimes we are concerned about what others will think of us if we allow other facets of our personality to come to the surface. Sometimes we don't pursue something due to a fear of failure, and other times we don't go forward for fear of success. But whatever the reason, freedom is one step away - and it is up to you to take that step. Even if it is a baby step, it is a step in the right direction.

I have to leave you with one of my favorite quotes:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” – Marianne Williamson

Stilettos...Size 3-6 Months???

What is going on in the world today?? Ok, I'm a little late getting this out there but about a week ago I read about a disturbing item that is new to the children's market: high heels for babies... Yes you read that correctly! It sounds too ridiculous to be true but I am not making this up! Apparently the shoes are not made to be walked in since the heels collapse when the baby stands upright in them. So this is all for the sake of baby fashion! The fashion industry is already designed so that a mother and child could be wearing the same outfit; but now they are taking it to babies?? And this was started by two moms who were reminiscing about the good old days when their children were babies. And when they threw in their personal shoe fetishes, this is what they came up with. They are sold in leopard satin print, hot pink patent, black satin, zebra satin, black patent and hot pink satin, and come in a little see through “runway bag” with a rhinestone clasp on it. Why? Why? Why? I don't think this is cute - at all. Ok, maybe for a costume party and that is stretching it, but never at any other point in time.

But this brings up the issue of letting kids be kids. Why are we trying to make our babies into adults. They don't need to dress like us or do anything that adults do really...not at this point in their lives. Let babies concentrate on the task of eating, sleeping, learning to crawl, walk, and talk. Do we need to teach our children to be fashion-conscious straight out of the womb? Is it necessary to pass on fashion fetishes and consumerism to our young so early on? I guess it's an individual choice, but it's one that I will opt out of.

Create Roots for Your Children

"There are two lasting bequests we can hope to give our children. One of these is roots; the other, wings." - Hodding Carter


As parents we all want the best for our children. Sometimes we struggle so hard to keep a roof over their heads and food in their mouths that we are not able to focus on other things that are crucial to their upbringing. We need to teach kids how to be themselves, be true to themselves, and how to value humanity and the earth as a whole. We often wonder how to go about doing that. Time can seem so short, but the hours that we do have with our children need to be spent wisely. I have come across a few books for parents which I have either read or am in the process of reading that I think would be helpful to us all.


The Seven Spiritual Laws for Parents by Deepak Chopra

What Do You Really Want for Your Children by Wayne W. Dyer

Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child by John Gottman, PhD

Parenting from the Inside Out by Daniel J. Siegel, MD and Mary Hartzell, MEd


There are also great books out there for you to read with your children to instill certain principles in their minds and hearts. I've bought some of these for my daughter and she loves reading them. The pictures are bright and beautiful as well as the lessons that are being taught. We have the first two on the list, but the others follow the same sentiments and I plan on purchasing those as well.


Incredible You! 10 Ways to Make Your Greatness Shine Through by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer, et al.

Unstoppable Me! 10 Ways to Soar Through Life by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer, et al.

No Excuses! How What You Say Can Get in Your Way by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer, et al.

I Think, I Am! Teaching Kids the Power of Affirmations by Louise Hay, et al.
It's Not What You've Got by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer

Reading with your children is quality time at its best. With these books you are able to do three things at once: instill important values, bond with one another, and foster a love of reading. Happy parenting!

Delilah's Poem

I wrote this poem on January 7, 2008 for a baby who really touched my heart. Of course there have been other babies I've gotten attached to because I work with them every day. But her situation struck a chord with me, especially since I was adopted. I couldn't help but think that I could have been in the same position. I cried when she was healthy enough to leave the hospital and the representative from ACS walked her out of the unit, and into the foster care system...

mama's gone
this hospital isolette is my home
she was too busy
smokin' this, sniffin' that
shootin' that
to care 'bout me
tho i was in her belly,
fighting for my life while hers was
wastin' away
i was never happier than that fateful day when
i fought my way to birth
then instead of toxins pickin' at me,
i had to worry 'bout the threat of her hiv
antiretrovirals coursing through my blood,
they're lookin' out for me while
my mama shows no love,
doesn't know what i'm goin' through,
doesn't know what i'm worth,
hasn't laid eyes on me since birth
i waited for a recognizable voice to comfort me
but now i take solace in the voices
and touches of strangers who
have become my familiar
no more azt and i'm definitely hiv free, finally,
escaped the death grip of hands that never held me
i'm growing, developing my personality,
big eyes, the sweetest smile framed by fat cheeks,
lookin' cute in my green outfit,
i speak
for myself
i may be small but i have a big voice,
you can hear me outside this box i'm in,
which means i refuse to live inside one,
i'm ready to rebel against the title i'm given,
"orphan",
foster care
may seem like the road to nowhere
but thankful for second chances
i'll climb to the highest tier,
and i may shed many tears to get there
but at the end of the day
what matters is that...
I'm here

Taking Life in Stride

Remember the board game, "The Game of Life". I used to love playing that game with my family. I always longed to be more of an adult, so it was perfect for me to get to act the part - get married, have kids, land a job, etc. It was so exciting to see what would happen that day in that "life".

Well just like in the board game, real life is so similar. We never know where we will land as we travel the course of our lives. And yes, "real life" is a game in which happiness is the reward or prize. Many of us try to direct or control the way our lives play out. We do have the power of free will, of choice, however there are lessons for us to learn along the way which cannot be avoided. We always hear the classic phrase, "Everything happens for a reason". Well LIFE is that reason.

The sole purpose of our existence here on earth is to LIVE. Living does not mean just to eat, sleep and breathe. So often we get caught up in the basics of our lives and we just exist. Living means to take full advantage of the body and mind that was given to our spiritual being in order to manifest that which brings us great love, joy, and peace. We are here to embody all elements of love, the feeling from which every other positive emotion emanates. Our work here is to get beyond the negative emotions that come into our consciousness and return to the loving aspects.

All the twists and turns of life have been designed that way. There are no coincidences or accidents along the way. Every experience is meant to lead you somewhere. So when troublesome times come your way, no matter what their incarnation, just know that on the other side of that struggle, the end result is something better. A better set of circumstances, but more importantly a better YOU can emerge from it. As the jingle from the game says, "You can be a winner at the game of life."

To Care or Not To Care...Why is that a question?

So you meet someone and you guys are hanging out with each other and whatever else. And you are starting to have feelings for them. At this point a lot of people start to ask themselves whether or not they should show they care or communicate in a way that makes it clear that they have feelings for the other person.

I say, "Why not??". If you have feelings for someone why not show it. Obviously the reason why people don't, is based in fear. They're afraid that the other person doesn't feel the same. They don't want to look overzealous or desperate. They're afraid of being hurt or taken advantage of, or afraid that their expectations are not going to be met. Almost everyone has a little fear that something negative may happen, but why not just go for it.

Step outside of the fear and express the caring feelings you have for the other person. Everyone out there wants to experience love and the companionship of someone special. If you hold back those feelings, you are just delaying the natural progression of your relationship with that person. Wouldn't you rather be completely open in your communication with them? If you are open from the beginning you are more likely to get past the masks that people put on at the start of a relationship/friendship with someone of the opposite sex. And acting like you don't care about that individual is just another means of covering up your true self. Stop playing the game and maybe the other person won't play either.

Now regarding someone not living up to your expectations of the relationship...can we let go of this? I know it's difficult and I myself have fallen victim to it in the past. When meeting and getting to know someone, how can we have expectations of them? That's all you are supposed to be doing - getting to know one another and having some good times together. What kind of expectations are we supposed to have? Once again the answer is none. Refer to the statement two sentences back. We should not be thinking that they are THE ONE, the key to our happiness, our future spouse - none of the above.

The key to your happiness is within you. If you find yourself looking for your full personal happiness in another person, then you need to do some soul searching - and there is nothing wrong with that. There is nothing to be ashamed of if you have to do that. You will only become a stronger person as a result. That is not how life was intended to be. No one else can ever make you completely happy, for that happiness as a result of someone else is fleeting. You will realize that no matter who is in your life, when that date is over, or you get off the phone with them, or whatever it is that you were doing together is done with, when you are alone with yourself, YOU are the only one who can keep yourself going. But I digress and will expound upon this topic in another blog later on.

Caring for and liking someone else are loving feelings that we should not shy away from. It is a wonderful feeling to give our love to others. All of the positive emotions that we feel are as a result of love and all the negatives from fear. When we disregard the fears we have in life, we truly become free. To quote Elizabeth Kubler Ross in her book Life Lessons "Sometimes living a safe life, with lots of respect for all our fears, worries, and anxieties, is the most dangerous thing we can do. Don't make fear a permanent part of your life: letting go, or at least living in spite of fear, surprisingly and paradoxically, returns you to a place of safety. You can learn to love without hesitation, to speak without caution, and to care without self-defensiveness."

Redefining You: Self-Exploration as a Path to True Fulfillment

Who do you think you are?!...No, really! Who are you? Have you ever really asked yourself that question, and then actually sat down and pondered the answer? Many women haven’t asked themselves the question, never-mind tried to formulate a response. Even more of them wouldn’t be able to give a true answer. Sure, they might be able to run down the usual list of mother, wife, daughter, stay at home mom, career woman, but that only characterizes the basic day-to-day roles that we play.

Those roles do not define us; instead we craft their definitions of us. For each of us, when expressing who we are as individuals, we mold what that means to us. And when we are acting in terms of the general role, instead of being true to ourselves, we are only paying homage to societal standards. Think about it -- when you use those terms you are describing your job or your responsibilities. You may be painting a picture of what your everyday life is like, but you are not giving insight into your inner thoughts or the fundamentals of who you are. Or, on the other hand, maybe those roles have become who you are.

Historically, women have consistently put the needs of others before themselves. Whether we are focusing on our spouses, our children, or on gaining independence by establishing our careers, we oftentimes forget about, or push our personal needs to the wayside. Many women will say that developing a successful career is a way for them to feel fulfilled, but there is much more to happiness than professional status.

Recently more women have begun to set aside time for fitness routines, spa days, and going out with their girlfriends. One important component that is being forgotten is taking time for introspection and discovering "the real you". Throughout our lives, we are constantly told what others think we should or should not be, and how we should or should not behave, so we fall into a routine of living up to other people's expectations of ourselves, without even really thinking about what we want. This occurs from childhood onward, so that when we reach adulthood these behaviors and ways of thinking are so ingrained in our psyches that most people don't even realize what is going on.

Women end up living lives that don't parallel the dreams embedded deep within. Many of us have a perpetual feeling that something is missing from our lives, and keep searching for that fulfillment through the happiness of our children, spouses, and sometimes clients and co-workers. There is nothing wrong with wanting to satisfy the needs of those around us, but what happens when those others disappear and we are alone with our thoughts. A feeling of emptiness lingers in the soul. Oftentimes women try to fill that space with television shows, shopping sprees, hair and nail appointments - trying to mask the unhappiness with the look a stylish sophisticate on the outside. But in the end, who are you really fooling. Others may fall for the facade, but deep inside you know what lurks within...or what is missing altogether. This is not the life any of us were meant to live. However many women continue to live vicariously through other people and things, and don't have a moment of revelation until later in life, sometimes not until they reach mid-life. And although they say it's never too late, wouldn't you rather get to know yourself now so that you can live your life the way you really envision. Instead of living with a stranger, be your own best friend. To know thyself is to love thyself.

So to all the women out there, take some time for yourself, sit down and ponder who you really are and what you want out of life. It's okay if you are not sure; that's what self-exploration is all about. Read some books on self-empowerment and self-development. Think about dreams deferred and how you can bring them into fruition. Figure out which road leads to your personal happiness and follow it until you find the inner peace that you've always yearned for. It is possible, if you nourish your spirit, follow your heart, and listen to your intuition. Make yourself a priority, and fulfillment in all aspects of your life will soon follow.

Be Impeccable With Your Word

"Be impeccable with your word...through the word you express your creative power. It is through the word that you manifest everything...Depending on how it is used, the word can set you free" - Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements

And so I begin my journey with the above intent. To continue to liberate myself and set my soul free...through my words. Almost 3 years ago I gave myself the name "jenlibr8d". At that time, I had no idea the journey of self-discovery I was about to embark upon. That is a very long story, which I will share bits of pieces of during this blogging experience. I have not reached my destination yet, and although there have been some difficult stops along the way, I've learned great lessons from all of them. And that is what life is all about...

I decided to start out with the quote by Don Miguel Ruiz, an author whose writing has had a major impact on my life. I highly recommend his books to everyone out there, which include The Four Agreements, The Voice of Knowledge, and The Mastery of Love. If you are interested in self improvement, all of them contain life changing lessons.

This blog will sometimes delve into topics related to spiritual journeys, but will also delve into random topics - basically whatever it is I feel like talking about that day. Like my blog title says, I'm a Renaissance Soul. I've taken that part from a book I just bought called The Renaissance Soul: Life Design for People with Too Many Passions to Pick Just One by Margaret Lobenstein. That so aptly describes me. So don't be surprised to see a profound quote one day and the next day find me talking about a great restaurant I went to the other day, or showing you pics of a great dessert I made. From book and movie recommendations to health related topics, societal issues, parental concerns, foodie thoughts, craft projects, me venting my frustrations about what is wrong with the world... and much more. (lol)