Something Ohhhh, Something New!

Happy New Year! It's been quite some time since I blogged, but I decided to come back and see if it still suited me.


Last week, on December 29th to be exact, I decided to try something different to celebrate my birthday. I decided that for the seven days following it I would do something I really wanted to do or have always wanted to do, or go someplace I have never gone before. I made a conscious effort to achieve this goal (okay a few days I was completely stretching to check off something new that I had done...but those days usually started with a plan that eventually went awry). What did I do you ask? Well it ranged from going to a dive of a diner near my house (which I will probably never enter again, but the food was decent), to spending a holiday in a new place with new people, to having a mother-daughter movie date with just the two of us for the first time ever : ) Now having done it, I must say that it felt really good. Actually I enjoyed the prospect of doing something new so much I think I will extend it throughout the entire year. So every day this year that I am off from work, I will try something new!

Now I don't want you to think that I was closed off to new experiences before. Really, I just found that I haven't been giving myself a chance to do the things I long to do. And considering the fact that I spend so much time working and taking care of whatever other responsibilities I have on my plate, when I have free time I want to maximize my enjoyment of that time. Now that does not mean that I won't sometimes just lay around and read a book, watch television or go to the mall, because I certainly do all of that. It just means that I like having the opportunity to do something out of the ordinary, even if it's just eating somewhere different.

I read a post on facebook a few months back which said that researchers found the key to people's happiness was having new experiences. That struck a chord with me because I know how often I think of the paths I haven't traveled, the places I haven't been. There's always that place I see and I say "Ohhh, I've always wanted to go there, oooh I've always wanted to try that", and for whatever reason it just never seems to happen. And thinking about it won't get me there, only stepping outside of the realm of if only, what if, I wish, and why didn't I, only that will get me there. Instead of just passing by that place that looks so inviting, I'm going to turn around and walk in. There is a new adventure around every corner and I can enjoy every one of them if I allow myself to take advantage of time and opportunity.

Sweet Freedom

This Independence Day, I'm reflecting on freedom. When you speak the word "freedom", it just feels good. Maybe everything that embodies the word pours out from your soul when you say it, so that in that instant you actually, truly feel the essence of what it is to be free. As I'm writing this I'm thinking that's a good exercise to use when you're feeling stressed out or feel negativity hanging over your head. Just speak or think the word freedom, and it will take you to place of positivity. You can envision whatever freedom brings to mind or means to you, and escape it all. Today my vision has me feeling light and floating on air just above the treetops, drifting into the blue skies with the sun beaming on me and the breeze gently blowing by. Other days I see myself on a lounge chair by a beautiful pool in a tropical locale, or laying in the embrace of beautifully vibrant, green grass without a care in the world. There are so many places we can escape to in our minds to evoke the feeling of freedom. This exercise could also be used to start your meditation. The important thing to remember is that freedom is a state of mind. And if we can transcend everything that's going on in our lives, to attain that mindset, then every day we can claim our inalienable rights of "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness", and every day can be our Independence Day!

To Care or Not To Care...Why is that a question?

So you meet someone and you guys are hanging out with each other and whatever else. And you are starting to have feelings for them. At this point a lot of people start to ask themselves whether or not they should show they care or communicate in a way that makes it clear that they have feelings for the other person.

I say, "Why not??". If you have feelings for someone why not show it. Obviously the reason why people don't, is based in fear. They're afraid that the other person doesn't feel the same. They don't want to look overzealous or desperate. They're afraid of being hurt or taken advantage of, or afraid that their expectations are not going to be met. Almost everyone has a little fear that something negative may happen, but why not just go for it.

Step outside of the fear and express the caring feelings you have for the other person. Everyone out there wants to experience love and the companionship of someone special. If you hold back those feelings, you are just delaying the natural progression of your relationship with that person. Wouldn't you rather be completely open in your communication with them? If you are open from the beginning you are more likely to get past the masks that people put on at the start of a relationship/friendship with someone of the opposite sex. And acting like you don't care about that individual is just another means of covering up your true self. Stop playing the game and maybe the other person won't play either.

Now regarding someone not living up to your expectations of the relationship...can we let go of this? I know it's difficult and I myself have fallen victim to it in the past. When meeting and getting to know someone, how can we have expectations of them? That's all you are supposed to be doing - getting to know one another and having some good times together. What kind of expectations are we supposed to have? Once again the answer is none. Refer to the statement two sentences back. We should not be thinking that they are THE ONE, the key to our happiness, our future spouse - none of the above.

The key to your happiness is within you. If you find yourself looking for your full personal happiness in another person, then you need to do some soul searching - and there is nothing wrong with that. There is nothing to be ashamed of if you have to do that. You will only become a stronger person as a result. That is not how life was intended to be. No one else can ever make you completely happy, for that happiness as a result of someone else is fleeting. You will realize that no matter who is in your life, when that date is over, or you get off the phone with them, or whatever it is that you were doing together is done with, when you are alone with yourself, YOU are the only one who can keep yourself going. But I digress and will expound upon this topic in another blog later on.

Caring for and liking someone else are loving feelings that we should not shy away from. It is a wonderful feeling to give our love to others. All of the positive emotions that we feel are as a result of love and all the negatives from fear. When we disregard the fears we have in life, we truly become free. To quote Elizabeth Kubler Ross in her book Life Lessons "Sometimes living a safe life, with lots of respect for all our fears, worries, and anxieties, is the most dangerous thing we can do. Don't make fear a permanent part of your life: letting go, or at least living in spite of fear, surprisingly and paradoxically, returns you to a place of safety. You can learn to love without hesitation, to speak without caution, and to care without self-defensiveness."