To Care or Not To Care...Why is that a question?

So you meet someone and you guys are hanging out with each other and whatever else. And you are starting to have feelings for them. At this point a lot of people start to ask themselves whether or not they should show they care or communicate in a way that makes it clear that they have feelings for the other person.

I say, "Why not??". If you have feelings for someone why not show it. Obviously the reason why people don't, is based in fear. They're afraid that the other person doesn't feel the same. They don't want to look overzealous or desperate. They're afraid of being hurt or taken advantage of, or afraid that their expectations are not going to be met. Almost everyone has a little fear that something negative may happen, but why not just go for it.

Step outside of the fear and express the caring feelings you have for the other person. Everyone out there wants to experience love and the companionship of someone special. If you hold back those feelings, you are just delaying the natural progression of your relationship with that person. Wouldn't you rather be completely open in your communication with them? If you are open from the beginning you are more likely to get past the masks that people put on at the start of a relationship/friendship with someone of the opposite sex. And acting like you don't care about that individual is just another means of covering up your true self. Stop playing the game and maybe the other person won't play either.

Now regarding someone not living up to your expectations of the relationship...can we let go of this? I know it's difficult and I myself have fallen victim to it in the past. When meeting and getting to know someone, how can we have expectations of them? That's all you are supposed to be doing - getting to know one another and having some good times together. What kind of expectations are we supposed to have? Once again the answer is none. Refer to the statement two sentences back. We should not be thinking that they are THE ONE, the key to our happiness, our future spouse - none of the above.

The key to your happiness is within you. If you find yourself looking for your full personal happiness in another person, then you need to do some soul searching - and there is nothing wrong with that. There is nothing to be ashamed of if you have to do that. You will only become a stronger person as a result. That is not how life was intended to be. No one else can ever make you completely happy, for that happiness as a result of someone else is fleeting. You will realize that no matter who is in your life, when that date is over, or you get off the phone with them, or whatever it is that you were doing together is done with, when you are alone with yourself, YOU are the only one who can keep yourself going. But I digress and will expound upon this topic in another blog later on.

Caring for and liking someone else are loving feelings that we should not shy away from. It is a wonderful feeling to give our love to others. All of the positive emotions that we feel are as a result of love and all the negatives from fear. When we disregard the fears we have in life, we truly become free. To quote Elizabeth Kubler Ross in her book Life Lessons "Sometimes living a safe life, with lots of respect for all our fears, worries, and anxieties, is the most dangerous thing we can do. Don't make fear a permanent part of your life: letting go, or at least living in spite of fear, surprisingly and paradoxically, returns you to a place of safety. You can learn to love without hesitation, to speak without caution, and to care without self-defensiveness."