"There are two lasting bequests we can hope to give our children. One of these is roots; the other, wings." - Hodding Carter
As parents we all want the best for our children. Sometimes we struggle so hard to keep a roof over their heads and food in their mouths that we are not able to focus on other things that are crucial to their upbringing. We need to teach kids how to be themselves, be true to themselves, and how to value humanity and the earth as a whole. We often wonder how to go about doing that. Time can seem so short, but the hours that we do have with our children need to be spent wisely. I have come across a few books for parents which I have either read or am in the process of reading that I think would be helpful to us all.
The Seven Spiritual Laws for Parents by Deepak Chopra
What Do You Really Want for Your Children by Wayne W. Dyer
Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child by John Gottman, PhD
Parenting from the Inside Out by Daniel J. Siegel, MD and Mary Hartzell, MEd
There are also great books out there for you to read with your children to instill certain principles in their minds and hearts. I've bought some of these for my daughter and she loves reading them. The pictures are bright and beautiful as well as the lessons that are being taught. We have the first two on the list, but the others follow the same sentiments and I plan on purchasing those as well.
Incredible You! 10 Ways to Make Your Greatness Shine Through by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer, et al.
Unstoppable Me! 10 Ways to Soar Through Life by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer, et al.
No Excuses! How What You Say Can Get in Your Way by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer, et al.
I Think, I Am! Teaching Kids the Power of Affirmations by Louise Hay, et al.
It's Not What You've Got by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer
Reading with your children is quality time at its best. With these books you are able to do three things at once: instill important values, bond with one another, and foster a love of reading. Happy parenting!
Friday, August 14, 2009
Friday, July 31, 2009
Delilah's Poem
I wrote this poem on January 7, 2008 for a baby who really touched my heart. Of course there have been other babies I've gotten attached to because I work with them every day. But her situation struck a chord with me, especially since I was adopted. I couldn't help but think that I could have been in the same position. I cried when she was healthy enough to leave the hospital and the representative from ACS walked her out of the unit, and into the foster care system...
mama's gone
this hospital isolette is my home
she was too busy
smokin' this, sniffin' that
shootin' that
to care 'bout me
tho i was in her belly,
fighting for my life while hers was
wastin' away
i was never happier than that fateful day when
i fought my way to birth
then instead of toxins pickin' at me,
i had to worry 'bout the threat of her hiv
antiretrovirals coursing through my blood,
they're lookin' out for me while
my mama shows no love,
doesn't know what i'm goin' through,
doesn't know what i'm worth,
hasn't laid eyes on me since birth
i waited for a recognizable voice to comfort me
but now i take solace in the voices
and touches of strangers who
have become my familiar
no more azt and i'm definitely hiv free, finally,
escaped the death grip of hands that never held me
i'm growing, developing my personality,
big eyes, the sweetest smile framed by fat cheeks,
lookin' cute in my green outfit,
i speak
for myself
i may be small but i have a big voice,
you can hear me outside this box i'm in,
which means i refuse to live inside one,
i'm ready to rebel against the title i'm given,
"orphan",
foster care
may seem like the road to nowhere
but thankful for second chances
i'll climb to the highest tier,
and i may shed many tears to get there
but at the end of the day
what matters is that...
I'm here
mama's gone
this hospital isolette is my home
she was too busy
smokin' this, sniffin' that
shootin' that
to care 'bout me
tho i was in her belly,
fighting for my life while hers was
wastin' away
i was never happier than that fateful day when
i fought my way to birth
then instead of toxins pickin' at me,
i had to worry 'bout the threat of her hiv
antiretrovirals coursing through my blood,
they're lookin' out for me while
my mama shows no love,
doesn't know what i'm goin' through,
doesn't know what i'm worth,
hasn't laid eyes on me since birth
i waited for a recognizable voice to comfort me
but now i take solace in the voices
and touches of strangers who
have become my familiar
no more azt and i'm definitely hiv free, finally,
escaped the death grip of hands that never held me
i'm growing, developing my personality,
big eyes, the sweetest smile framed by fat cheeks,
lookin' cute in my green outfit,
i speak
for myself
i may be small but i have a big voice,
you can hear me outside this box i'm in,
which means i refuse to live inside one,
i'm ready to rebel against the title i'm given,
"orphan",
foster care
may seem like the road to nowhere
but thankful for second chances
i'll climb to the highest tier,
and i may shed many tears to get there
but at the end of the day
what matters is that...
I'm here
Monday, July 27, 2009
Taking Life in Stride
Remember the board game, "The Game of Life". I used to love playing that game with my family. I always longed to be more of an adult, so it was perfect for me to get to act the part - get married, have kids, land a job, etc. It was so exciting to see what would happen that day in that "life".
Well just like in the board game, real life is so similar. We never know where we will land as we travel the course of our lives. And yes, "real life" is a game in which happiness is the reward or prize. Many of us try to direct or control the way our lives play out. We do have the power of free will, of choice, however there are lessons for us to learn along the way which cannot be avoided. We always hear the classic phrase, "Everything happens for a reason". Well LIFE is that reason.
The sole purpose of our existence here on earth is to LIVE. Living does not mean just to eat, sleep and breathe. So often we get caught up in the basics of our lives and we just exist. Living means to take full advantage of the body and mind that was given to our spiritual being in order to manifest that which brings us great love, joy, and peace. We are here to embody all elements of love, the feeling from which every other positive emotion emanates. Our work here is to get beyond the negative emotions that come into our consciousness and return to the loving aspects.
All the twists and turns of life have been designed that way. There are no coincidences or accidents along the way. Every experience is meant to lead you somewhere. So when troublesome times come your way, no matter what their incarnation, just know that on the other side of that struggle, the end result is something better. A better set of circumstances, but more importantly a better YOU can emerge from it. As the jingle from the game says, "You can be a winner at the game of life."
Well just like in the board game, real life is so similar. We never know where we will land as we travel the course of our lives. And yes, "real life" is a game in which happiness is the reward or prize. Many of us try to direct or control the way our lives play out. We do have the power of free will, of choice, however there are lessons for us to learn along the way which cannot be avoided. We always hear the classic phrase, "Everything happens for a reason". Well LIFE is that reason.
The sole purpose of our existence here on earth is to LIVE. Living does not mean just to eat, sleep and breathe. So often we get caught up in the basics of our lives and we just exist. Living means to take full advantage of the body and mind that was given to our spiritual being in order to manifest that which brings us great love, joy, and peace. We are here to embody all elements of love, the feeling from which every other positive emotion emanates. Our work here is to get beyond the negative emotions that come into our consciousness and return to the loving aspects.
All the twists and turns of life have been designed that way. There are no coincidences or accidents along the way. Every experience is meant to lead you somewhere. So when troublesome times come your way, no matter what their incarnation, just know that on the other side of that struggle, the end result is something better. A better set of circumstances, but more importantly a better YOU can emerge from it. As the jingle from the game says, "You can be a winner at the game of life."
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
To Care or Not To Care...Why is that a question?
So you meet someone and you guys are hanging out with each other and whatever else. And you are starting to have feelings for them. At this point a lot of people start to ask themselves whether or not they should show they care or communicate in a way that makes it clear that they have feelings for the other person.
I say, "Why not??". If you have feelings for someone why not show it. Obviously the reason why people don't, is based in fear. They're afraid that the other person doesn't feel the same. They don't want to look overzealous or desperate. They're afraid of being hurt or taken advantage of, or afraid that their expectations are not going to be met. Almost everyone has a little fear that something negative may happen, but why not just go for it.
Step outside of the fear and express the caring feelings you have for the other person. Everyone out there wants to experience love and the companionship of someone special. If you hold back those feelings, you are just delaying the natural progression of your relationship with that person. Wouldn't you rather be completely open in your communication with them? If you are open from the beginning you are more likely to get past the masks that people put on at the start of a relationship/friendship with someone of the opposite sex. And acting like you don't care about that individual is just another means of covering up your true self. Stop playing the game and maybe the other person won't play either.
Now regarding someone not living up to your expectations of the relationship...can we let go of this? I know it's difficult and I myself have fallen victim to it in the past. When meeting and getting to know someone, how can we have expectations of them? That's all you are supposed to be doing - getting to know one another and having some good times together. What kind of expectations are we supposed to have? Once again the answer is none. Refer to the statement two sentences back. We should not be thinking that they are THE ONE, the key to our happiness, our future spouse - none of the above.
The key to your happiness is within you. If you find yourself looking for your full personal happiness in another person, then you need to do some soul searching - and there is nothing wrong with that. There is nothing to be ashamed of if you have to do that. You will only become a stronger person as a result. That is not how life was intended to be. No one else can ever make you completely happy, for that happiness as a result of someone else is fleeting. You will realize that no matter who is in your life, when that date is over, or you get off the phone with them, or whatever it is that you were doing together is done with, when you are alone with yourself, YOU are the only one who can keep yourself going. But I digress and will expound upon this topic in another blog later on.
Caring for and liking someone else are loving feelings that we should not shy away from. It is a wonderful feeling to give our love to others. All of the positive emotions that we feel are as a result of love and all the negatives from fear. When we disregard the fears we have in life, we truly become free. To quote Elizabeth Kubler Ross in her book Life Lessons "Sometimes living a safe life, with lots of respect for all our fears, worries, and anxieties, is the most dangerous thing we can do. Don't make fear a permanent part of your life: letting go, or at least living in spite of fear, surprisingly and paradoxically, returns you to a place of safety. You can learn to love without hesitation, to speak without caution, and to care without self-defensiveness."
I say, "Why not??". If you have feelings for someone why not show it. Obviously the reason why people don't, is based in fear. They're afraid that the other person doesn't feel the same. They don't want to look overzealous or desperate. They're afraid of being hurt or taken advantage of, or afraid that their expectations are not going to be met. Almost everyone has a little fear that something negative may happen, but why not just go for it.
Step outside of the fear and express the caring feelings you have for the other person. Everyone out there wants to experience love and the companionship of someone special. If you hold back those feelings, you are just delaying the natural progression of your relationship with that person. Wouldn't you rather be completely open in your communication with them? If you are open from the beginning you are more likely to get past the masks that people put on at the start of a relationship/friendship with someone of the opposite sex. And acting like you don't care about that individual is just another means of covering up your true self. Stop playing the game and maybe the other person won't play either.
Now regarding someone not living up to your expectations of the relationship...can we let go of this? I know it's difficult and I myself have fallen victim to it in the past. When meeting and getting to know someone, how can we have expectations of them? That's all you are supposed to be doing - getting to know one another and having some good times together. What kind of expectations are we supposed to have? Once again the answer is none. Refer to the statement two sentences back. We should not be thinking that they are THE ONE, the key to our happiness, our future spouse - none of the above.
The key to your happiness is within you. If you find yourself looking for your full personal happiness in another person, then you need to do some soul searching - and there is nothing wrong with that. There is nothing to be ashamed of if you have to do that. You will only become a stronger person as a result. That is not how life was intended to be. No one else can ever make you completely happy, for that happiness as a result of someone else is fleeting. You will realize that no matter who is in your life, when that date is over, or you get off the phone with them, or whatever it is that you were doing together is done with, when you are alone with yourself, YOU are the only one who can keep yourself going. But I digress and will expound upon this topic in another blog later on.
Caring for and liking someone else are loving feelings that we should not shy away from. It is a wonderful feeling to give our love to others. All of the positive emotions that we feel are as a result of love and all the negatives from fear. When we disregard the fears we have in life, we truly become free. To quote Elizabeth Kubler Ross in her book Life Lessons "Sometimes living a safe life, with lots of respect for all our fears, worries, and anxieties, is the most dangerous thing we can do. Don't make fear a permanent part of your life: letting go, or at least living in spite of fear, surprisingly and paradoxically, returns you to a place of safety. You can learn to love without hesitation, to speak without caution, and to care without self-defensiveness."
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Redefining You: Self-Exploration as a Path to True Fulfillment
Who do you think you are?!...No, really! Who are you? Have you ever really asked yourself that question, and then actually sat down and pondered the answer? Many women haven’t asked themselves the question, never-mind tried to formulate a response. Even more of them wouldn’t be able to give a true answer. Sure, they might be able to run down the usual list of mother, wife, daughter, stay at home mom, career woman, but that only characterizes the basic day-to-day roles that we play.
Those roles do not define us; instead we craft their definitions of us. For each of us, when expressing who we are as individuals, we mold what that means to us. And when we are acting in terms of the general role, instead of being true to ourselves, we are only paying homage to societal standards. Think about it -- when you use those terms you are describing your job or your responsibilities. You may be painting a picture of what your everyday life is like, but you are not giving insight into your inner thoughts or the fundamentals of who you are. Or, on the other hand, maybe those roles have become who you are.
Historically, women have consistently put the needs of others before themselves. Whether we are focusing on our spouses, our children, or on gaining independence by establishing our careers, we oftentimes forget about, or push our personal needs to the wayside. Many women will say that developing a successful career is a way for them to feel fulfilled, but there is much more to happiness than professional status.
Recently more women have begun to set aside time for fitness routines, spa days, and going out with their girlfriends. One important component that is being forgotten is taking time for introspection and discovering "the real you". Throughout our lives, we are constantly told what others think we should or should not be, and how we should or should not behave, so we fall into a routine of living up to other people's expectations of ourselves, without even really thinking about what we want. This occurs from childhood onward, so that when we reach adulthood these behaviors and ways of thinking are so ingrained in our psyches that most people don't even realize what is going on.
Women end up living lives that don't parallel the dreams embedded deep within. Many of us have a perpetual feeling that something is missing from our lives, and keep searching for that fulfillment through the happiness of our children, spouses, and sometimes clients and co-workers. There is nothing wrong with wanting to satisfy the needs of those around us, but what happens when those others disappear and we are alone with our thoughts. A feeling of emptiness lingers in the soul. Oftentimes women try to fill that space with television shows, shopping sprees, hair and nail appointments - trying to mask the unhappiness with the look a stylish sophisticate on the outside. But in the end, who are you really fooling. Others may fall for the facade, but deep inside you know what lurks within...or what is missing altogether. This is not the life any of us were meant to live. However many women continue to live vicariously through other people and things, and don't have a moment of revelation until later in life, sometimes not until they reach mid-life. And although they say it's never too late, wouldn't you rather get to know yourself now so that you can live your life the way you really envision. Instead of living with a stranger, be your own best friend. To know thyself is to love thyself.
So to all the women out there, take some time for yourself, sit down and ponder who you really are and what you want out of life. It's okay if you are not sure; that's what self-exploration is all about. Read some books on self-empowerment and self-development. Think about dreams deferred and how you can bring them into fruition. Figure out which road leads to your personal happiness and follow it until you find the inner peace that you've always yearned for. It is possible, if you nourish your spirit, follow your heart, and listen to your intuition. Make yourself a priority, and fulfillment in all aspects of your life will soon follow.
Those roles do not define us; instead we craft their definitions of us. For each of us, when expressing who we are as individuals, we mold what that means to us. And when we are acting in terms of the general role, instead of being true to ourselves, we are only paying homage to societal standards. Think about it -- when you use those terms you are describing your job or your responsibilities. You may be painting a picture of what your everyday life is like, but you are not giving insight into your inner thoughts or the fundamentals of who you are. Or, on the other hand, maybe those roles have become who you are.
Historically, women have consistently put the needs of others before themselves. Whether we are focusing on our spouses, our children, or on gaining independence by establishing our careers, we oftentimes forget about, or push our personal needs to the wayside. Many women will say that developing a successful career is a way for them to feel fulfilled, but there is much more to happiness than professional status.
Recently more women have begun to set aside time for fitness routines, spa days, and going out with their girlfriends. One important component that is being forgotten is taking time for introspection and discovering "the real you". Throughout our lives, we are constantly told what others think we should or should not be, and how we should or should not behave, so we fall into a routine of living up to other people's expectations of ourselves, without even really thinking about what we want. This occurs from childhood onward, so that when we reach adulthood these behaviors and ways of thinking are so ingrained in our psyches that most people don't even realize what is going on.
Women end up living lives that don't parallel the dreams embedded deep within. Many of us have a perpetual feeling that something is missing from our lives, and keep searching for that fulfillment through the happiness of our children, spouses, and sometimes clients and co-workers. There is nothing wrong with wanting to satisfy the needs of those around us, but what happens when those others disappear and we are alone with our thoughts. A feeling of emptiness lingers in the soul. Oftentimes women try to fill that space with television shows, shopping sprees, hair and nail appointments - trying to mask the unhappiness with the look a stylish sophisticate on the outside. But in the end, who are you really fooling. Others may fall for the facade, but deep inside you know what lurks within...or what is missing altogether. This is not the life any of us were meant to live. However many women continue to live vicariously through other people and things, and don't have a moment of revelation until later in life, sometimes not until they reach mid-life. And although they say it's never too late, wouldn't you rather get to know yourself now so that you can live your life the way you really envision. Instead of living with a stranger, be your own best friend. To know thyself is to love thyself.
So to all the women out there, take some time for yourself, sit down and ponder who you really are and what you want out of life. It's okay if you are not sure; that's what self-exploration is all about. Read some books on self-empowerment and self-development. Think about dreams deferred and how you can bring them into fruition. Figure out which road leads to your personal happiness and follow it until you find the inner peace that you've always yearned for. It is possible, if you nourish your spirit, follow your heart, and listen to your intuition. Make yourself a priority, and fulfillment in all aspects of your life will soon follow.
Monday, July 20, 2009
Be Impeccable With Your Word
"Be impeccable with your word...through the word you express your creative power. It is through the word that you manifest everything...Depending on how it is used, the word can set you free" - Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements
And so I begin my journey with the above intent. To continue to liberate myself and set my soul free...through my words. Almost 3 years ago I gave myself the name "jenlibr8d". At that time, I had no idea the journey of self-discovery I was about to embark upon. That is a very long story, which I will share bits of pieces of during this blogging experience. I have not reached my destination yet, and although there have been some difficult stops along the way, I've learned great lessons from all of them. And that is what life is all about...
I decided to start out with the quote by Don Miguel Ruiz, an author whose writing has had a major impact on my life. I highly recommend his books to everyone out there, which include The Four Agreements, The Voice of Knowledge, and The Mastery of Love. If you are interested in self improvement, all of them contain life changing lessons.
This blog will sometimes delve into topics related to spiritual journeys, but will also delve into random topics - basically whatever it is I feel like talking about that day. Like my blog title says, I'm a Renaissance Soul. I've taken that part from a book I just bought called The Renaissance Soul: Life Design for People with Too Many Passions to Pick Just One by Margaret Lobenstein. That so aptly describes me. So don't be surprised to see a profound quote one day and the next day find me talking about a great restaurant I went to the other day, or showing you pics of a great dessert I made. From book and movie recommendations to health related topics, societal issues, parental concerns, foodie thoughts, craft projects, me venting my frustrations about what is wrong with the world... and much more. (lol)
And so I begin my journey with the above intent. To continue to liberate myself and set my soul free...through my words. Almost 3 years ago I gave myself the name "jenlibr8d". At that time, I had no idea the journey of self-discovery I was about to embark upon. That is a very long story, which I will share bits of pieces of during this blogging experience. I have not reached my destination yet, and although there have been some difficult stops along the way, I've learned great lessons from all of them. And that is what life is all about...
I decided to start out with the quote by Don Miguel Ruiz, an author whose writing has had a major impact on my life. I highly recommend his books to everyone out there, which include The Four Agreements, The Voice of Knowledge, and The Mastery of Love. If you are interested in self improvement, all of them contain life changing lessons.
This blog will sometimes delve into topics related to spiritual journeys, but will also delve into random topics - basically whatever it is I feel like talking about that day. Like my blog title says, I'm a Renaissance Soul. I've taken that part from a book I just bought called The Renaissance Soul: Life Design for People with Too Many Passions to Pick Just One by Margaret Lobenstein. That so aptly describes me. So don't be surprised to see a profound quote one day and the next day find me talking about a great restaurant I went to the other day, or showing you pics of a great dessert I made. From book and movie recommendations to health related topics, societal issues, parental concerns, foodie thoughts, craft projects, me venting my frustrations about what is wrong with the world... and much more. (lol)
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